portrait of "i don't know"
when i am asked if i know the name of the flower,
i say i don’t know. like schrödinger’s cat, i don’t
know can mean the cat is living and dead in equal parts,
until observed. like i don’t know if it will rain today. i
don’t know incomes apprehension when she asks me if i
love her. i don’t know is doubt when she is quiet. there
are days when we don’t even hug. my mother taught me how
to paint i don’t know if i asked her why this, why that, how
this, which, where. i don’t know is excuse when i am tired of
flying. i don’t know if cat is crying at my feet, or if i am
crying with cat at my feet. see legs overlapped within our
litter. i don’t know is a mathematical equation from which i
can subtract absolutely nothing, with a certainty of certain
division that takes place at the heart of knowing it all.
i don’t know is dark blue on flushed day. i’m wearing
pink pyjamas where everyone is black and white tuxedo.
i don’t know is smiles what i am doing after
my cat died crying at my feet. or was i crying at its?
Tanya Singh is the Founder & Editor-in-Chief of The Cerurove. Their work is forthcoming in Literary Orphans, Black Napkin Press, The Slag Review, among others. They live in India.
See another of Tanya's poems in 5.3