Sewing Lessons

1. Snaps
First you sew the male on the upper side of the garment, in the spot you accurately measured and pinned.
Then you lightly smear the protruding part of it with sewing chalk…that usually comes in a milky white. Sometimes pink or sky blue.
Then, top and bottom of cloth aligned, you press down.
Finally you sew the female exactly where the male left its mark.
You can’t possibly go wrong: that’s how it was always done.

2. Velcro
Remember! Just like you did with snaps! Male on top, female under.
Which one is the male? Come on! Male is hard, rough and prickly. Female’s fluffy and soft.
But you need to buy about ten lengths of female for one length of male. The female part wears off and needs constant replacing.
No, the male doesn’t. The male part is forever.
Just provide about ten female pieces per male.

3. Button up.
Now stick this in your mind and you’ll be fine.
Male is always left over right, to shield the heart from enemy swords.
And female is the opposite, of course. Why?
You don’t need a reason, do you?

Toti O'Brien’s work has appeared in Sein und Werden, Synesthesia, Siren and Star 82, among other journals and anthologies. She lives in California. http://totihan.net/writer.html

See more of her work in issue 3.4.