Unclear on the Concept
I was feeling stupid; I’d messed up
a zoom date with a friend.
She was in a different time zone;
I’d added when I should have subtracted;
moreover, I had the wrong day.
I seemed a bit pathetic to us both,
despite her kind words.
I was sure that she’d had enough of me.
In response to my own anxiety,
I took up a difficult book
for reassurance, and to get even
with standard time, which I secretly blamed.
As I read, I was happy to discover
that the whole of humanity is flawed;
our attempts at self completeness are always undone
by an inability to catalog and manage our own needs.
A footnote led me to another book
concerning entropy and our place in the universe.
From there it was a short step to String Theory,
which can never be empirically verified
and so, ironically, marries mathematics to faith.
I became enmeshed in Boolean algebra
and the works of Aquinas.
Given the difficult nature of these books,
at the end of a month I’d forgotten what any of this
had to do with my life, all those long words ago.
Oh, wait, yes,
I messed up my date with Beverly.
My future as a partner is in question.
Jeff Armbruster lives in Berkeley, CA. He graduated with a degree in English Literature from UC Santa Cruz. He plays classical guitar when he's not out hiking or getting lost in a book. A natural recluse, he's nevertheless presentable when in public and can often be found attending concerts for small ensembles.